Believe Big Podcast

82-Kristi Gaultiere - How to Hear from God

• Ivelisse Page & Kristi Gaultiere • Season 3 • Episode 82

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Do you ever wonder how to hear from God amidst the noise of today’s busy world?

In today's new podcast with Kristi Gaultiere, we will discover powerful insights on how God speaks to each of us in unique ways, even when we think we’re not hearing Him.

Whether you're struggling to discern His voice from your own thoughts or seeking clarity through spiritual practices like fasting and Lectio Divina, this podcast will guide you on a journey of deepening your relationship with God. With real-life stories and expert guidance, we’ll help you find peace, purpose, and direction.

Don’t miss this chance to unlock the many ways God may already be speaking to you.

Learn more about Kristi Gaultiere and Soul Shepherding:
https://www.soulshepherding.org/

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Ivelisse Page:

Hi, I'm Ivelisse Page, and thanks for listening to the Believe Big podcast, the show where we take a deep dive into your healing with health experts, integrative practitioners, biblical faith leaders, and cancer thrivers from around the globe. Welcome to today's episode on Believe Big podcast. My name is Ivelisse Page, and I am so thankful to be with you today. It is my absolute pleasure to welcome back to the Believe Big podcast, my friend and soul sister, Kristi Gaultiere. Kristi joined us in season two with a double episode about caring for our souls and emotional and spiritual health. For anyone who would miss those episodes or would like to revisit them, we will put links to both of them in our show notes of this episode. A little bit about Kristi. She is an expert in leading people to understand and care for the health of their souls. She has co authored a best selling book with her husband of 35 years called Journey of the Soul, A Practical Guide to Emotional and Spiritual Growth. Kristi is a doctor of psychology and has dedicated her life to serving Jesus. She has three grown children and is a grandmother of two. Kristi enjoys speaking, training, teaching, consulting, counseling, and retreat leading with Bill, as well as recording their weekly Soul Talks podcast. Welcome back to the show, Kristi.

Kristi Gaultiere:

Thank you, Ivelisse. I'm so happy to be back with you and the Believe Big Community.

Ivelisse Page:

Well, we are so grateful for your time. And when you first joined us, we asked you about what your favorite health tip was, and you said prayer. Yes. So prayer is such a powerful health tip. And I'm wondering if you might have another one that you'd like to share with our listeners.

Kristi Gaultiere:

Oh, I do. Thank you. Prayer definitely is number one for me, but I would also say secondary to it is having a rhythm where I have regular times to get away, to rest and to have times of solitude where I withdraw from everything that competes for my attention and everything that stresses me and just time to get alone with the Lord and be nurtured in my relationship with God. And doing that in a context that also is within a safe community so that I can pair that rhythm of solitude and silence and withdraw then with engaging with healthy community to process out of that time as well and get support because we need both for our growth, so very much. And so as you know, Ivelisse, we practice that regularly in our retreats at Soul Shepherding and been so blessed to have you attend two of those recently this year, and just to enjoy that rhythm that I find so helpful for my health because it's a part of my health emotionally and spiritually, and relationally. And that has a big effect on physical as well, but I love all that you talk about here on Believe Big because I know our physical health and what we eat, not being exposed to toxins, all those, you know, getting enough vitamins, water, the light, all those different things that you talk about here are also important because our soul involves our body as well as our relationships, as well as our thoughts, our feelings, and our spirit, our heart.

Ivelisse Page:

Yeah, I'm so glad you shared that because, you know, recently my girlfriends and I went away for a retreat and they asked me, What has been one of your favorite things that you've learned from Soul Shepherding? And I told them it was creating those rhythms of life and I can share a link to those in the podcast and who would like to learn more about that, but it really has transformed my life, creating those rhythms that you talk about of rest and retreat and restoring, whether it's daily, weekly, uh, quarterly, yearly, you know, whatever rhythm that you set for each of those areas of your life has just been really powerful. So I'm glad you, you brought that up today. So today though, I, you know, in our last retreat, Healthy Leadership, you and Bill talked about a session on How To Hear From God and that was just such a powerful session because I feel, especially within communities that certain people say, well, I don't hear from God or I don't hear from him like I, like you do. And it can really be discouraging to people when they actually are hearing from God and they just need to really be focused enough to, to understand all the many ways that he speaks to everyone in different ways. So what does it actually mean to hear from God in today's busy, distracted world?

Kristi Gaultiere:

Well, there is a lot of mystery around that. And my story is one of asking that very same question, because I was raised in a conservative church where I was taught that to hear God meant you read his word. and you obey it. And that, that is key in hearing God. But then I went away to a university that was a charismatic school where I heard a lot of people talking about hearing God, um, very casually all the time. And they weren't talking about what they were hearing from God in scripture. And so I became very curious about this and a little bit alarmed with how casually they were talking about hearing God. And even some of the things they would say they heard from God that didn't seem like wisdom or didn't seem consistent with God's scripture. And so it made me a little bit cautious about that too. But then there was also this part of me that felt maybe some shame, like, well, I'm not hearing from God in the way they are. They're so confident that they've heard God and I'm not hearing God. And why am I not? And I began to really wrestle with this subject of what does it mean to hear God's voice? And can we hear God's voice differently than just through scripture and through his word. And as I began to look at scripture and read scripture, I began to see that, well, actually scripture tells us a lot. The Bible mentions a lot about people, ordinary people hearing from God. And Jesus himself tells us in John 10, my sheep know my voice. They hear my voice. They discern my voice and they, they won't follow the voice of the enemy and they will follow my voice because they know it. And I know them. And it began to recognize that this, this hearing God comes out of this relationship with God, relationship of trust and of developing intimacy. And so as I began to think more about that, and even as a parent thinking about, I really want my children to hear me. And I want to hear from them. I want that two way conversational, interactional relationship where they feel safe and free to share their heart and confident they'll be heard. And I want them to be confident that I hear them, that I want to hear them, that I make it a priority to hear them. And I think it's the same for us with God. We're made in his image and he calls us his children. And so I think to have that confidence and get that vision has been so important and so helpful to me in that and to look at the different ways that God has spoken to people in scripture and in, in life. I've been so blessed to be mentored by Dallas and Jane Willard, and they've taught me a lot about hearing God as well. In fact, Dallas wrote a book on hearing God that is a great, great book that I recommend. And Bill and I have written a book out of our learnings as well, incorporating what we learned from Dallas, but also many other saints that have gone before us and then our own life of walking with God in the 50 years that we have been blessed to do that. So in our book, Journey of the Soul, we have a whole chapter. where we talk about hearing God and even learning in different things, like from animals. I, I have a cat that I really have enjoyed named Charlie and he and I had a very close relationship. And I learned a lot about hearing God, even from Charlie and the way that he was so attuned to me. Wherever I was, I would think he was sound asleep in a room, and I would quietly leave the room, and next thing I know, he popped up, he was awake, he knew I'd left, he'd gone where I was, he always wanted to be where I was, he could hear if I was awake in the morning just by the change of my breathing, and he knew, even though the door was closed. When I was awake and it was okay for him to make noise and when I was asleep and it wasn't, he was that tuned into me and I could call his name and he would come in an instant and I often thought, I want to be that tuned in to God, that responsive to hear God as Charlie does to hear me. And then there was a elephant, a very famous elephant trainer. And his name was Charlie Frank, and he had an elephant named Nita that he had a really close relationship with, and he trained Nita to perform all kinds of tricks. Well, he retired from the circus, and he donated Nita to the San Diego Wild Animal Park. And he had missed Nita and was grieving the loss, but hadn't had a chance to go visit her. And 15 years later, after she'd been at the park, he had the opportunity to come visit her. And as he got to the park, he began to be talking about how he missed her. And he was a hundred yards away, and Nita heard Charlie's voice and came up to the edge, came out and came up to the edge of where she lived. And Charlie was just so excited that she was there and started to perform some of his, his calls to her and she started immediately 15 years later on command with every trick he'd ever trained her to do. She had internalized his voice and that's what God wants us to do too. So I think it's really important that we realize that for each of us, we can develop, an ongoing conversational relationship with God where we can be confident He hears us and when we really can hear Him.

Ivelisse Page:

Yes, and one question that I get or I hear a lot from people is okay How do I distinguish between God's voice and our own inner thoughts or emotions?

Kristi Gaultiere:

Yeah, that is so important because everything that we hear within our our minds or our a lot of it is going to be our own internalized parent tapes of things we've heard from the past from authority figures. Oftentimes even we will hear temptations or the enemy who comes, Scripture says, is an angel of light or that wolf in sheep's clothing trying to deceive. So that discernment question is really, really important. How do I know where this is coming from? Is this thought from the Lord? And that's really important because one of the ways we do hear God is often through our, our thoughts. It's not, it's not usually an audible voice. It's not usually through a speaker. Um, meaning like a, a, an audio speaker. It can be through a person, God does speak to us through other people, and usually it will resonate in our spirit as having an authority beyond the person who spoke it. And usually God is very patient for us to hear Him. Oftentimes, He'll say the same thing to us many different ways and different contexts before we actually will wake up and recognize, oh Lord, you're really speaking to me about this. So I think there are some really important things that we can use to discern God's voice and one of those is it is it his voice comes with that sense of authority in itself. It doesn't really need to be loud or hysterical and It is something that often comes with a unique and specific meaning for us personally. Oftentimes it will be a word that will actually really bring clarity in a situation where you've been seeking the Lord and asking for that. Or it might be something that really imprints into our memory and we don't forget it. It, it feels, um, louder, not necessarily in volume, but in the, the impact that it has, the personal meaning that it has to us. One of the things it also could do if we have heard from the Lord is often it will produce in us a greater spark of faith and trust in Jesus and in our relationship with him and our life with him and our ability to follow him. We have a whole list of things that we write about in Journey of the Soul in chapter eight that are signs. We call signs of genuine words or touches from the Spirit of God. And once you've experienced these, you'll begin to identify these even more because like anything else, learning to discern God's voice is a skill we can grow in. And

Ivelisse Page:

Can you share a few of those from Journey of the Soul? Just even one or two?

Kristi Gaultiere:

Sure. Yeah. I would love to. Well, one sign of genuine word from the Lord or hearing his voice is it will be always consistent with the Bible, consistent with scripture. It won't in any way be going against God's word to us in scripture. And then it'll also usually bring with it a sweet reasonableness, and even producing us a calm peace, the fruit of it. It's usually gentle, like the spirit of Jesus, whereas the enemy's voice to us is usually one that's shame producing, or an accusation, or stresses us, pressures us, hurries us, very different than the calm peace that the voice of the Lord brings. One of my favorites is, it surprises us. Oftentimes I found something that God is speaking to me comes as a surprise and I'll often think, Oh, I wouldn't have thought of that. Or, Oh yes, that's perfect for me. And only you would know that Lord. And, um, I'm surprised that I needed to be reminded of that right now, but usually it has some, some sense of surprise to it. It can also really, um, inspire our worship of God. And oftentimes it's humbling. It'll humble us. It'll remind us of our dependency upon God. It'll remind us of how well he knows us, but that's very different than feeling shamed. The humility puts us in a right standing with God and a greater trust and openness to where he's leading us and what he's saying. Um, it doesn't shame us or put us down or scold us or humiliate us. There's a big difference between humble and humiliation, And it also, it will turn you away from worldly things.

Ivelisse Page:

Okay. I like that. And I, I think one of the ways that you, you all have taught me a different way of hearing from the Lord is through Lectio Divina. You know, sometimes we're so used to doing certain things when we experience the Lord in a different way, we hear from him in a different way, whether it's imaginative prayer or even fasting. I think that was a new one for my daughter. She had a big decision ahead and I encouraged her and shared with her about fasting and, and how it can help you have more clarity when you are removing food for that day. It really helps you to focus and hear him better. What would you say in regards to fasting? Because I feel like that is one that most people in our. integrative world think about fasting as far as like for, for health, right? Or prior to treatment, that it really helps to get our body clean and, and people do water fasts, all kinds of things in the cancer world. But Spiritually speaking, can you just share a little bit about fasting for those who have never heard about it in the spiritual sense?

Kristi Gaultiere:

Yes, definitely. One of the things that we write about and teach in our retreats is different spiritual disciplines or practices or even experiments we call them. Things that you might think, well, what will God do if I do this? And fasting is one of those spiritual disciplines or practices or experiments. And, one of the things that can be helpful about fasting as a spiritual discipline or practice is that we're recognizing that this is a discipline of abstinence. Well, I'm going to be abstaining from doing something that I normally do, eating, and I'm going to be doing that in order to make space for some different disciplines of or practices of engagement. So maybe I'm fasting from food to help me engage more of my time and my energy that I would be putting into eating into prayer, into that conversation with the Lord. And also I might also be doing that to remind myself how hungry I am for God. As I feel those hunger pains come up for food that actually can serve as a prompt to remind me, I am actually more desperate. in my relationship with God for all that I need for life and godliness, then I am on food. And to practice what Jesus even practiced in, we read about in the Gospels, uh, he had food to eat that was not physical food, that there's actually spiritual nourishment that we need, that God can give us. And we can begin to learn that more through venturing on him and some of these spiritual disciplines like fasting.

Ivelisse Page:

Yeah So, how do you encourage those who feel like they're in a spiritual dry season even not even those who have been hearing from God clearly and they haven't been recently or they struggle to hear from him?

Kristi Gaultiere:

Oh, such an important question, Ivelisse. Thank you for asking that and for being sensitive to that, because that is something that we do all experience. Something we write about in Journey of the Soul is that that's common to our journey, that we would have times where we feel a great consolation, a great nearness of the Lord, a great intimacy with the Lord. We're feeling really vibrant and strong in our faith. And then we have these other times where it feels dry, feels empty, feels like we're going through the motions. Uh, it, it feels like, even, even it could feel lonely or we can be prone to temptation where the enemy comes and tries to make us sow seeds of doubt and tries to blame us and make us think that, you know, it's our fault or we're failing God. So these are normal parts of our journey, but we also talk about and write about our different stages of faith, that those times of feeling consolation and desolation, they are different at different seasons of our journey in our spiritual and emotional development in Christ. So especially after we have been in a season of maybe heavy responsibilities in ministry, we might especially be prone to feeling a little bit more of some of that desolation, some of that dryness, some of burned out, even struggling with doubt or especially for our listeners who are struggling with a personal crisis like cancer or a loved one who is struggling and suffering in cancer. These are big desolations and these have a big effect on every area of our soul, including our spiritual lives. And oftentimes they can provoke these deep questions of doubt and wrestling and feeling maybe even abandoned by God. So, just want to normalize that, that that is not anything to be alarmed by. We write about this a lot in Journey of the Soul because we have had so many people have come in to see us as counselors, spiritual directors who have just been riddled with such shame or just, totally taken over with a lot of anger at God, a lot of questions, because it is such a dry season. It's a time when they maybe feel like I've, I'm more desperate than ever for God and for the consolation than hearing his voice. And yet I can't, what am I doing wrong? And oftentimes it's not that you're not doing anything wrong, but you're in this season and it often is a season, no fault of your own. It's normal for the part of our journey. And actually, even though it feels so bad, it actually is a grace because it's it actually is a part where we have the opportunity to be strengthened in our faith as we endure through that season.

Ivelisse Page:

Yes. And, we have a lot of individuals, another aspect of cancer, which I feel is even more difficult than the physical side is dealing with the anxiety or emotions that go through that process or fear. How can one quiet their mind to hear from God in the midst of such turmoil or circumstances?

Kristi Gaultiere:

Yeah, well, I think there's, there's different, answers based on different personalities too. And that question is going to be different based on the stage of faith that you're in, which is what we write about in Journey of the Soul. And it's going to be different based on your personality, which we write out about in our newer book, Healthy Feelings, Thriving Faith. Because discipleship to Jesus isn't one size fits all. It's going to be different based on the stage of faith that we're in. And it's going to be different based on our personality, but something that is going to be contiguous, no matter what your personality or what your stage of faith is, that we don't journey alone. We need to have people who understand these things and companion with us on our journey. So one really key thing that's consistent that we write about in both of these books is having a safe place to be able to be emotionally honest with what you are experiencing and be listened to by somebody who is an ambassador of Christ to you, who can listen to you with empathy, with understanding, who's experienced this kind of desolation, who's been through a crisis, a wall, a dark night of the soul, a season where it's felt dry. They haven't heard God's voice and somebody who has learned to be able to endure and gone into the next season that comes after the season that we call the wall. And that's inner journey. And can lead you to start to do some of the inner journey disciplines and some of the work of inner journey that brings healing and restoration and a deeper longing for God and a deeper renewal in our relationship with God as we get through this season. So a lot of this season is an endurance season. It's a continuing to trust and to believe big in our big God, even when we're not experiencing some of the consolations, some of the things that fed our faith before. And sometimes we need to be in a community of people who are experiencing those things again after a season like we've been and we can hold on to their big faith because our faith may be a small at the time. But the good news is Jesus says it only takes a mustard seed of faith. That's really all we need. And so you just take that mustard seed that you have. but also you borrow the faith of somebody who's in a really fruitful season and remind yourself God is doing a deep work in you in this season And this isn't the end of your journey. He has so much more for you.

Ivelisse Page:

Yes, and we've heard it before, you know, our tests become our testimonies.

Kristi Gaultiere:

That's right.

Ivelisse Page:

And I loved how you said that we can also reach out to people who've been there and are on the other side of it for support. And that's kind of what we hope to be for those on the cancer journey is we understand all those feelings all the circumstances, the overwhelm. And we hope to be able to hold onto someone's hand and say, okay, we've been there. We understand. And and let's just take it one step at a time. And so I appreciate that you all do that on the emotional side of health and spiritual side of health for individuals. And so I love, that you are both a psychotherapist and also a spiritual director. And so, how do you use these two roles to intersect when it comes to hearing from God personally?

Kristi Gaultiere:

Yes. Well, um, I actually am no longer practicing as a psychotherapist. I've transitioned only to spiritual direction and that's really been just a great fit, a great transition for me. I still, of course, use all of the knowledge and experience from my years working as a psychotherapist and I still have maintained my license to practice, but I find that working as a spiritual director gives me so much more freedom to be able to engage, uh, the whole person in the journey. And certainly the emotional and mental health is key. And that's what I focused on most in my private practice, but it, it's not enough. We need to be able to address every aspect of our soul. And so our spiritual life is key in that. Psychotherapy can be a help in that because what's key in both, spiritual direction or psychotherapy is that safe place, that confidential relationship and having that with somebody trusted, somebody who has an understanding of the journey and has empathy for us and who can listen to us with that empathy can pray for us because we all need others interceding for us and praying for us and we need people who can see the parts that we can't yet see because our vision is blocked by the big experience we're in right now, or the big emotion that we're feeling right now, or by what our bodies are suffering in the treatment that we're undergoing right now, or in the grief of the season that we're in right now. So we need somebody else that can hold on to hope and faith for us while still being present with us in our pain and mediating God's presence to us. And so spiritual direction does that very, very well. Certainly psychotherapy can do a piece of that. Um, and especially with a, a psychotherapist who loves the Lord and really is called in that understanding and educated on the spiritual part of the journey as well.

Ivelisse Page:

Yes. Yes How can we tell, I get this question a lot and it's how can we tell if God is asking us to wait, to act, or let go of something?

Kristi Gaultiere:

Oh, that's such an important question, too. One of the things we write about in Journey of the Soul in our chapter on hearing God is what we like to call a GPS system for hearing God's voice. And there's kind of three different parts of that. The G is God's Word, engaging with God's Word, and listening. Ivelisse, you talked about the practice of Lectio Divina, which we do together on all of our retreats, and we have a Lectio Divina guide at soulshepherding.org also with 70 Lectio Divina sheets that you can do on your own, but this is a great way to listen to God in his word. So that's one way is to listen to his word, to ask him to speak to you through his word, a discernment, an action point for what he would have you be doing in a specific decision or discernment point you're facing. And then another part, that's, that's the G, God's word, reading his word, engaging the scripture and listening to him in that. The other one is his providence, the P in GPS. God's providence. What, what is the action as we look to our Sovereign Lord? How is He leading us uniquely? What's happening around us? Who are the people He's put in our lives? What are our circumstances? Where are we feeling Him show up? Where are we feeling a nearness to Him, a consolation to Him? Do we feel peace as we think about proceeding in this direction that we're considering, or do we feel a check in our spirit? Like, no, I don't think that really, I don't, I'm not sure that is the Lord. I think that might be me trying to fix it or somebody else trying to fix me. Um, but really looking at based on what the circumstances of my life are, what doors are opening, what doors are closing, and even asking the Lord to make that more obvious, to open and to close doors specifically as only He can, and looking at that. And then I think that the next part is that S in the GPS, spirit impressions. What is it in my spirit that I am sensing from the Lord? Am I sensing of peace about proceeding with this decision? Or do I have a check in my spirit? Is it producing anxiety in me? Is it producing in me a sense of hurry? Because God's usually not in a hurry. Or, you know, what is the fruit in my life and in my, my spirit? And we really want to be paying attention and tuning to that as well. What effect is this having on my body? What effect is this having on my emotions? And what kind of thoughts am I having when I consider this? And we want to bring all three of those GPS points into consideration in a point of discernment and prayer.

Ivelisse Page:

Well, that is so beautifully said and so easy to remember. And, the thing I think about when I think about a GPS is we used to have those in our, in our cars and, or, on our phones and they'll say recalculating if you take a wrong turn.

Kristi Gaultiere:

That's right.

Ivelisse Page:

And so by using that GPS I really like that because even if we quote unquote take a wrong turn, God can quickly correct us back if we're using that G, that P, and that S that you talked about. Thank you so much for bringing such light and insight into this really important topic about hearing from God and really appreciate you. And thank you so much for sharing your heart today with us.

Kristi Gaultiere:

Oh, you're so welcome, Ivelisse. Thank you for all that you're doing, and Believe Big giving me an opportunity to be a part of it.

Rebecca Arcarese:

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Ivelisse Page:

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